我们知道同学们对于金融MSF专业的personal statement不知如何下笔，今天Wordsunny帮大家找到一篇关于金融MSF专业的personal statement范文，并附有Wordsunny导师对同学的指点。
Generally speaking, your essay had covered the major points that a standard PS should have: your passion for the specific major, your past educational and practical experiences, your future study plan and career prospect. However, certain problems still exist. Language is one of them. Therefore, most of my editing involved language polishing. Another problem is your lack of clear sense of logic. Whenever writing a paper, try laying out the entire essential gist you want to elaborate on in a clear list. The next thing you need to do is to find the logical relationship among those points and connect them in a smooth and logical order.
In your case, I had switched your extracurricular experience to the 2nd paragraph to go along with the undergraduate years of study to point out that you are a well-rounded student. As for your research and intern experience, I think they go better together since they all belong to the category of practical experiences. And, I like that you are very specific about your particular interest of area: corporate finance. Actually, same rule should apply to your explanation about why choosing Syracuse University and your career prospect. Simply put, you should give more specific reasons regarding your choice of SU and your career plan upon graduation. After checking their website and program info, I had mentioned several important factors that attracted you to this program, namely the flexibility of the program, their edgy trading room and Whitman’s Ballentine Investment Institute. And, I added certain things to your career plan: passing CFA, obtaining MBA, and finally taking on managerial roles in large corporations. This is a classical track of finance majors and I believe it made your plan sound more concrete and convincing.
I hope this helps and good luck with your application.
Born with a natural sensitivity to numbers, I have always found mathematics intriguing. This fascination was later fueled by my mother-a professor of mathematics. Therefore, my decision to pursue finance as a career was no surprise to those who knew me since it offers me an ideal combination of mathematical reasoning with a generous mixture of interpersonal communication. Four years of study at Nanjing University has proved that my decision was a wise one: I performed very well in all of my major courses and my interest towards finance is stronger than ever. As for now, I want nothing more than an opportunity to be enrolled in the MSc Finance program at Syracuse University and I am assured I have what it takes to succeed. .
Through my undergraduate years, I have grown tremendously, both in and out of the classroom. On the one hand, I have performed exceptionally well in all courses and tests, not to mention that I spent considerable amount of time reading and studying on my own to further expand my vision. I consulted my professors whenever in doubt but never blindly followed their thoughts. On the other hand, my leadership and communication skills have been consciously developed through all kinds of extracurricular activities and student organizations, which I believe are essential qualities for finance professionals. In particular, I was selected as the head of the Liaison Department of the Student Union of the School of Economics in 2010. On this position, I hosted a series of fundraisers for major student events of our school, such as Debate Competition and Fun Games.
Knowing that theoretical knowledge and passion alone are far from enough, I took the initiative to latch on to every opportunity for real practice. In October 2011, I actively participated in a research titled “Financing Difficulties of Small and Medium-sized Enterprises of Southern Jiangsu Province”. In this research, I was mainly responsible for conducting questionnaire surveys and analyzing survey results. We started by online investigation through emails, which later proved to be time-consuming and ineffective. In order to gather more valid information and time-sensitive responses from the participants, I spent two months visiting more than 200 enterprises and successfully persuaded most of them completing our questionnaires. Later, during the process of analyzing collected data, I had realized that capital shortage and financing difficulty were two main restraining factors for the development of small and medium-sized enterprise. This invaluable research experience not only taught me the vital importance of patience and communication skills for finance professionals, more importantly it solidified my keen interest in launching a career in corporate finance.
During the summer of my junior year, I had the privilege to intern as a manager assistant at the Personal Financial Center of China Construction Bank, Nanjing Branch. My major duties included: providing information of financial products, maintaining relationship with clients, meeting clients’ needs, formulating personalized financial plans, offering scientific suggestions on asset allocation for clients, and persuading clients to invest in our financial products as well. Through this experience, my communication and interpersonal skills were significantly improved, so was my understanding and familiarity with various banking practices and products.
Having worked diligently thus far in my academic career, I believe the next stage of my learning will be best facilitated by a practice-oriented master program like yours. I am completely assured that your program with highly qualified and experienced faculty along with a compilation of vibrant research activities will definitely help me achieve my goal in the field of corporate finance. I am particularly interested in the flexibility of your program which allows me to customize my degree by taking elective courses in corporate finance. Your state-of-the art trading room and personal access to current market data through Whitman’s Ballentine Investment Institute also strongly appeal to me. I am fully confident that my outstanding academic record and practical experience combined with unbounded enthusiasm would enable me to contribute productively to your program too.
Upon graduation from your program, I plan to pass CFA and become a financial analyst in a leading investment bank to accumulate hands-on experience and networking. At certain point, I intend to obtain a MBA to prepare myself for the managerial role in a large corporate. Ultimately, I aim to join higher management of the Financial Department of an international enterprise.